


Bath Time Hissteria

by VarenNeoRaven



Series: The Alpha and the Omeowga [4]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Bath Time, Gen, No animals were harmed in the making of this fic, Nudity, Vergil has a new pet, Vergil negotiates with animals, Vergil sets personal boundaries, Winston - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VarenNeoRaven/pseuds/VarenNeoRaven
Summary: Part 4 of the Alpha and Omeowga series.Winston has come back after a day roaming around outside. And he smells something awful, and whats a half devil to do but wash him.This can't be too difficult, can it?
Series: The Alpha and the Omeowga [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002588
Comments: 20
Kudos: 28





	Bath Time Hissteria

**Author's Note:**

> No, I'm not off this series yet. Have another chapter already in the works, but I had a NEED to write this. 
> 
> Mature for naked nonsexual cursed chaos.

Vergil was having a quiet moment to himself, up in his room. Freshly showered from the last job he completed, he had thrown on a simple t-shirt and some sweatpants, silver locks still damp, and loose. He planned to finish just one more chapter, a cup by his bedside producing a gentle waft of steam, carrying notes of lavender and chamomile. He rested, back against the headboard, lips moving silently over the words on the page and through his mind. The voice in his mind sounds different from his own. It's deeper, richer, but somehow more distant to him. He thinks it's how his father used to sound when he read to the both of them, but he's not quite sure he's remembering it just-- 

The thought is jostled from him as little hands tap on his window repeatedly.  _ Ah, Winston's back. _

Vergil's gaze flicked to the window to confirm, before swiftly getting up to open up for the raccoon, his brain trying to process the sight. As he reached the window, further inspection of his night visitor through the glass raised alarms in his mind. The first sign something was wrong was the smears on the glass, oily and viscous. The second and far more alarming, was the large jar of peanut butter, stuck on Winston's head. Vergil immediately unlatches the window, in order to help the poor stupid creature, only to immediately regret his decision. 

The smell coming off of Winston is  _ foul. _ Vergil is not sure what possible combination of terrifying things in the human world it takes to create such an odor, but there were corpse pits in Hell with a far better aroma. Vergil did not get much time to process or quantify the smell any further unfortunately, as Winston finally realized the room was open, and clumsily launched himself in, before beginning to trot around in circles, chittering and clearly distressed… at least Vergil thought, until he saw Winston's tongue, trying to lap at the inside of the jar, trying to get the last of whatever morsel he was after.

Vergil sighs, before reluctantly grabbing him, to try and remove the jar, only to get what he can only hope is a rotten raw egg on his hand from Winston's fur. A sound of disgust leaves Vergil, as Winston trots off, now actively evading Vergil, trying to chase that one last spot of food from the container encasing him. After a few moments of chasing and trying to keep the filthy animal  _ off of the bed and chairs and everything else _ , Vergil is finally victorious, stinky raccoon under one arm, and what he can now identify as a peanut butter jar in the other. Wonderful. 

"You are truly disgusting. Do you have no sense of dignity? There is food here. This is foolishness, covering yourself in filth for scraps. All you had to do was ask. Now, you will have to live with the consequences of your actions."

A curious head tilt from Winston, followed by chittering, and a wiggle.

"No, I will not be releasing you until you have been cleaned. If you wish to remain indoors, you will cease your objections. Unless you wish to remain outside?" Vergil cocked an eyebrow back at Winston. After a moment, Winston seemed to deflate into Vergil's arms, signaling his compliance. "A wise choice, Winston."

Tossing the jar into the nearby bin, Veegil grabs his recently used towel and two more before heading to the bathroom. It seems he will require a second today. But first… Winston. 

Who upon realizing he was in a bathroom with a locked and closed door, immediately tensed. With a massive wiggle and a whine, he freed himself from Vergil's grasp, only to plop down on the floor, and immediately try to hide behind the toilet. Unfortunately for Vergil, his attempt was becoming quite successful. The little bastard had managed to wedge himself under the pipe connecting the seat to waste pipes, and after some gentle tugs, Vergil came to the appropriate decision to just let him rest a moment. While Winston cowered, Vergil turned on the bath water, and placed his used towel on the tubs floor. Dish soap labeled "for Winston" in the vet's rashy lovely script was grabbed from under the cabinet along with a small bucket, and placed beside the tub. All that was left, was Winston. Veegil glared at the raccoon, leaning out to grab the raccoon by the scruff, who visibly shook--

He was  _ scared.  _ Vergil stopped, hand midway, flinching. He looked between his hand, and the raccoon, before sighing, forcing his body to relax, and reach gently, for under Winston's chin, stopping his hand against the floor, palm up near his dark nose. Winston sniffed curiously, nervously at the hand. He closed his eyes a moment, and let out another sigh, before opening blue eyes to meet brown. 

"I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. But you need to be cleaned. I will be fast, and we will get all of that… mystery fluid from you, and then you will have a proper dinner. Don't worry, I'll be gentle." 

With a whine, Winston scooted forth, and after some less than graceful flailing on his part he freed himself, and waddled toward Vergil and his fate. 

Vergil picked him up, and set him in the bath, only to find Winston refused to let go. The poor thing clung to him, chittering sadly, as it tried to scramble up the side of the tub with his back legs. Vergil struggled with the raccoon, trying to get the soap into his fur, as every 10 seconds the raccoon tried to launch itself back on his shoulders, sloshing the soapy trash water straight onto his shirt, and seeping into his sweatpants below. Vergil grimaced at the feeling of the warm wet clothing, as it cooled. Halfway through getting to Winston's back paws, he lept, hoisting himself up onto Vergil's shoulder, and hair. Vergil stopped, as he felt what could only be that raw egg, drip from Winston, onto the hair he had just washed. He reached up, and swiped the blob from his hair and Winston, and flicked it with disgust into the water. 

_ I give up. _

Vergil carefully rises from his crouch on the floor, one hand bracing Winston in place, and steps into the bathtub, before kneeling down again to unwrap the raccoon from his head. After picking him up, he turned Winston to face him, staring him in the eyes, resigned. 

"Now we both need a bath. Are you satisfied? Really. Will it help if I am in here with you?" As if to answer the question, Winston reaches out and gently touches the tip of his nose with a single paw, before cooking his head and wiggling gently to be put down. Once he is set, he clings sadly, between an arm and a thigh, as he finally allows suds to be built in his coat. Occasionally, Winston seems distracted by the bubbles building in the water below,, as he reaches out with one paw to pop it,, only to suddenly realize he's let go of his anchor point. Vergil drains the tub, and turns on the taps, still warm from the first fill, and turns on the shower head. He manages to snag it down, raccoon still clinging to his leg, and turns it on to a gentle spray, before finally, finally rinsing him off, making sure the fur runs clear, free of bubbles. Winston reaches out with hands and open mouth, batting at the shower stream playfully, and biting at the water, only to let out a huff as he gets water up his nostrils. Vergil chuckles, the antics tugging the sound from his throat before he can think to keep it down. Honestly, it seems once Vergil was in the tub with him, the big baby was just fine. Vergil moved the hose about, and let Winston play, chasing the spray through the tub. Until disaster struck. 

Really, Vergil should have considered the coordination of his newfound friend. With a flick of his wrist he had sent the water back towards himself, only for the raccoon to playfully pounce after it, straight into Vergil. It was then that the pain hit. A single foot, supporting most of the raccoons 18 pounds, landed straight on his groin. Vergil hissed at the impact, breath stuttering in his lungs. If you had told him he could be felled by such a small creature in this matter, he would have laughed. But something about the surprise of it, the lack of physical injury, demanding adrenaline and healing energy to surge, and knock the shock of it out of his head, left him with nothing but the excruciating ache to endure. Winston, to his credit, had bounced off at the hiss, and was sitting on the showerhead at the other end, he tilted and sniffed towards Vergil. 

"You're alright… just… surprised me." Vergil turned off the taps, before quickly grabbing a towel and drying off the squirming animal as best he could, while it tried to play with the towel corners. With him mostly dry, Vergil contemplated taking him back to his room, deliberating. If he took him back now, he would have to leave the partially damp creature in his room, where he could get into anything, while Vergil rehashed. That won't do. He'd rather not lose some ancient and mystic spellbook to idle tiny hands. Vergil looked to Winston, rolling around with the towel. "You will have to remain here a few moments longer. This will be quick."

With two wet plops, Vergil shucked his shirt and bottoms onto the bathroom floor, scooping them up when Winston reached for them and chucking them into the hamper. "Leave them," Verfil gently commanded, before stepping back into the tub and closing the curtains. Water back on for the third time, Dante was going to whine about the bill later, he can already hear it, we quickly lathers and rinses his hair, before reaching down for the body wash. It's squeezed and massaged into a washcloth, wiping swiftly and vigorously over his skin. He starts at his neck and arms. He senses the shower curtain open slightly as Winston sits at the edge of the tub, watching him with curious eyes. "As long as you don't get wet again, you can sit there."

Vergil turned, scrubbing at more of his body, down his torso, and across his back, down across his ass. He takes a few gentle wipes around his sore groin, jaw set as he tenderly makes sure it's clean of the residue that had seeped into his clothes, before taking a step back to lean down, and scrub down his legs. As he reaches the edge of his shin, he shifts back more and widens his stance to wash the underside of his foot and toes--

**_Bap!_ **

Vergil lets out an undignified pitched noise of absolute shock. He whirl about and cups himself, staring in terror behind him.

Only to find Winston, perched on his hind legs, front paws reaching out to him. He had. He had!

"No. That is  _ forbidden. You do not touch there." _

Chittering, followed by two held tilts. 

" _ Absolutely not. Under no circumstances is that to happen again." _

Winston's hands retreat, curling up against his chest a moment, petting over his own fur, before settling himself further in place, head sinking down guiltily, eyes looking up at him, pathetically, as if begging for sympathy on its heinous transgression. 

"As Dante has said, you're lucky you're cute. You may remain there. But please, your hands do not belong on such an intimate part of my anatomy. I understand your envy, seeing as yours have been removed. That doesn't mean you may touch mine." With that, the raccoon placed all four hands back on the porcelain, and sat, resigned. Vergil finished quickly, keeping a wary eye on his companion as he rubbed and rinsed off. He cut off the water and scooped up the raccoon upon exiting, granting him no chance for further inappropriate behavior before setting him in the sink while he quickly toweled off before wrapping it around his hips. Winston was scooped again, before being carried down the hall back to Vergil's room. One last towel to Winston's fur and he was deemed acceptable enough to be allowed freedom. Vergil checked the floor and windows carefully, before locking it shut and releasing the raccoon. Winston then races over to his bowls to beg. One scoop of a quality dog kibble the vet had suggested, and one small cat of a cat food that claimed to be "human grade" and Winston was twirling on his hind legs in excitement. Vergil set it down, and emptied a water bottle into the bowl next to it, as Winston began his feast. Once fed, Vergil rummaged through his drawers and put on a clean set of clothes.

Vergil finally returned to his spot in bed. The tea was cool, but still drinkable. After all of that, he could use the liquid. Verfil settles in, and after several pages and some splashing, tiny paws reach out from beside the bed, gently patting the covers. Vergil reaches over with one arm, quickly assessing Winston's hands as clean enough, and lifts Winston into bed with him. Winston immediately wiggles, making his way to Vergil's side nuzzling into him, and curling himself around, belly up underneath a part of Vergil's arm. He takes the hint, and begins to lightly scratch Winston's chest, gently running his nails through the thick coat. After several more pages, Winston is snoring. A few more, and Vergil turns out the light, sliding further under the covers, Winston sleeping beside his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> Cursed bap brought to you by real life experiences with cats, and the insatiable urge to want to bap that one sdt vergil photoshop with his big fat beach balls from behind. 
> 
> I'm truly sorry I am this level of cursed.


End file.
